The issue

I am not that kind of person. i never thought i was that kind of person. now only now, ever since i was a child i have been avoiding it. it's simply not my cup of tea.

my parents may have been responsible and my school most definitely is - for shaping my mind that is. i have trained myself to ignore and go on my way. trying my best not to cross path with it. move away, run, fly... anything to avoid facing it.

in my house, my mom was the one to confront. my dad would simply walk away - i think i learned it from him. he always tries to convince my mom not to do it, she never agrees. And, he never stops trying.

when i got married, i was very happy to see my mother-in-law do the avoiding. it was Santosh on the fore-front. Calmly he would face the issue and ensure it didn't bother neither my MIL nor me, nor anyone in the house. i was very happy - and continued to wallow in my ways. Never bothering to face the issue.

Then, i became a Mom. i noticed a change in myself, but didn't bother much abt it. Never did i confront the issue. Santosh was always arnd. Also, the issue didn't crop up very often. i was happy to continue in my bliss state, except to make a remark now and then. Just to keep Santosh appraised of the situation so that he can handle it. Delegation was the key and Santosh would in turn call outside help. After all there are professionals to keep the issue at bay. For months and years together if need be.

Then, Aditi was born. All my maternal instincts r heightened now. i have to do everything to protect my baby. Nidhi is grown and can take care of herself to a large extent. But the younger one is vulnerable. My responsibility.

Professionals can do only so much. Unable to understand why it isn't working anymore. But, one day Santosh was at office. The kids were in the hall and i was in the kitchen. Something snapped in me and i did something i never thought myself capable of. For the first time in my life.......
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I KILLED A COCKROACH.