Nidhi attended her first dance class when she was 4-and-a-half years old. The 'class' was for an hour's time, but we left the class halfway within 30 mins.
When i was a child, i wanted to learn dance. My mom put me in music class instead. i quit after a couple of years - although i can sing, i can't for the life of me identify any ragas. When Nidhi was born, i had a deep deep deep secret desire to let Nidhi learn dance and watch her perform on stage. Of course, parents shdn't live their own lives thru their kids and since i subscribe to this idea whole-heartedly, i didn't even bother to mention my wish to anyone, not even Nidhi.
Then, Nidhi joined nursery school(playgroup, KG-I, KG-II) and every year her teachers told me that whenever they had a party in class, Nidhi was the first to get up and dance. In the school annual-day we all could see Nidhi's performance was better than the rest of the children, despite the fact that she was the youngest in her class. I accepted everyone's appreciation with a pinch of salt - after all dancing with her friends and learning classical dance are two completely different things - u only need enthu for one, but the other needs hardwork and dedication. And anyway, Nidhi was too young and her father was dead against sending her to any additional activity-classes - "no pressure on my child!"
One day i was watching Nidhi's baby videos, suddenly i realised, 90% of the videos shot starting from her toddler years has Nidhi standing and swaying to music from the TV/DVD - nursery rhymes, film songs, devotional songs. That's when i realised Nidhi has a natural interest in dance. And she has a good sense of rhythm. What if i put her in dance-class? It took over a year - to find a dance-teacher, to convince Mr.Appa and also for little Nidhi to grow up a little.
At 4-and-a-half years, i approached a teacher, let's call her by the initials of her real name - Mrs.PR, staying just next lane and teaching dance for almost a decade. A couple of children known to us were learning dance and thru them, we met her. At the outset she told us that usually she doesn't accept children as young as Nidhi coz she didn't have the patience to teach them, but luckily for us she was starting a new batch for children from 5-and-a-half years and Nidhi MIGHT fit in. She wanted to see Nidhi before accepting and after she met her and spoke to her she was convinced.
On the appointed day, Nidhi and I went to Mrs.PR's class. A lot of other children alongwith their parents were also assembled. What followed was a PR (Public Relations) excercise by Mrs. PR. She lectured to the students a bit abt maintaining discipline in her class and allowed one of her 'older' students(a girl of 7 or 8) to take over - Mrs.PR's impatience showing? She didn't care. A little while later she gathered the parents arnd her and now it was our turn to listen to her lecture. This is when i was greatful to her for her frankness coz she told us i am going to make your daughter cry and when she comes home crying it is ur duty as a mom to ignore her and send her right back to class. Apparently unless the children r afraid of her, they won't perform (Those were her exact words!). It was at this point i stood up with Nidhi and told her this approach unfortunately won't work for my daughter coz she's too young to understand y she is being terrorised. The teacher agreed this was her concern too for Nidhi. So i told her we'll see when Nidhi grows up a bit and we walked off, never to return.
First of all, i won't let anyone terrify a sensitive soul like Nidhi. And even if i did, there's no way her Appa is going to agree to this. So we gave up all ideas of dance class and life went on as usual.
Meanwhile the two children whom we knew(Mrs.PR's students) had their arangetram here - a huge show which was presided over by the Indian Ambassador to this country. Clearly the parents had left no stone unturned on this grand occasion. Relatives from all over the world had gathered and we went to meet everyone a couple of days before the function. Someone remarked that it seemed almost like a wedding to which the girls' uncle replied in no marriage the bride and groom were under so much pressure and had to endure so much torture. We came to know the girls had been practising dance for 8hrs a day the past one month. On the explicit instructions of Mrs.PR, they were first asked to abstain from eating anything and to follow a strict diet-plan. But as the big day approached nearer(and they had to visit an orthopedician for the aches and strain) they were asked the eat everything possible including non-veg to gain energy to perform. the girls refused saying first u starve us, now u stuff us - we don't feel like eating anything. One day before the function i asked the girls 'So, feeling excited?'. One of them replied for both saying i just wish tomorrow's day to be over - one way or other. i couldn't think of what to say to them and stuck to wishing them luck.
Now, don't get me wrong. i very well understand dance needs dedication. Especially classical dance. Hardwork, hardwork and more hardwork, until u reach perfection. unless u can devote that kind of time and energy it is meaningless. The two girls danced to perfection on that day, but at what cost? They had started learning dance with Mrs.PR when they were like Nidhi and today r on their way to become accomplished dancers. But, what abt their attitude. They danced superbly but the two mins they spent on stage socialising with their teacher while giving her a memento, both girls were as skittish as horses.
Did i want this for Nidhi? A child who loves to dance and shows a good sense of rhythm and style - shd i put her in a dance-class and crush her spirit and interest? A resounding No!
A few months later we shifted houses. i came to know of another teacher who had been teaching music, dance and veena from the past 14 years. A couple of children were going there but after my experience with Mrs.PR, i had no wish to burn my fingers again, more so bcoz it was Nidhi's fingers in question here. Six months were spent enquiring abt her, finding out if the teacher was really as kind as everyone seemed to say. At last, one day we went to visit her in her class, i was surprised to see girls as young as 3 years learning dance. this teacher was also performing therapy thru dance for autistic children. Clearly patience was not going to an issue here. When the little girls danced together there was no difference between who is bigger, who is younger, who is autistic, who is not. i could only see a group of girls dancing not perfectly, but beautifully enuf.
Nidhi joined dance-class with this teacher a few months before her 6th birthday. And on May 10th(a year and half later), she went on stage in a group of 6 girls, participating in a dance festival with 40 other groups. i thought i would cry, but i was smiling widely(like the macDonald clown) - when i saw my daughter dance there for the first time in classical style.
Today she is an infant in the world of dance. She has a looooooooooooooooong way of hardwork ahead of her. She enjoys her dance-class and never says 'i won't go today'. i find an easy camaradrie between Nidhi and her teacher. The teacher corrects her when she makes mistakes but Nidhi is not afraid of her, calls her 'Ma'am' with gr8 affection. Nidhi's dance moves r not perfect and even i spot mistakes in her sometimes. But, Nidhi's interest in dance is undiminished. She will hold her 'ara-mandi' position for 100, 200, even 500, but she will get up and stand straight if it pains her in class - she is not terrorised to ask for a glass of water during the class. And, best of all, she likes to dance.
When i sent the video of Nidhi's stage-performance to close friends and relatives, the common comment was how Nidhi danced with a smile and how much she enjoyed performing the dance. For this, i am grateful to God and to her teacher. It will take many many years and someday Nidhi will perfect her dancing style, but i am happy that by the Grace of God, she will reach there without falling out of love with her parents, teacher and most importantly, dance itself!
When i was a child, i wanted to learn dance. My mom put me in music class instead. i quit after a couple of years - although i can sing, i can't for the life of me identify any ragas. When Nidhi was born, i had a deep deep deep secret desire to let Nidhi learn dance and watch her perform on stage. Of course, parents shdn't live their own lives thru their kids and since i subscribe to this idea whole-heartedly, i didn't even bother to mention my wish to anyone, not even Nidhi.
Then, Nidhi joined nursery school(playgroup, KG-I, KG-II) and every year her teachers told me that whenever they had a party in class, Nidhi was the first to get up and dance. In the school annual-day we all could see Nidhi's performance was better than the rest of the children, despite the fact that she was the youngest in her class. I accepted everyone's appreciation with a pinch of salt - after all dancing with her friends and learning classical dance are two completely different things - u only need enthu for one, but the other needs hardwork and dedication. And anyway, Nidhi was too young and her father was dead against sending her to any additional activity-classes - "no pressure on my child!"
One day i was watching Nidhi's baby videos, suddenly i realised, 90% of the videos shot starting from her toddler years has Nidhi standing and swaying to music from the TV/DVD - nursery rhymes, film songs, devotional songs. That's when i realised Nidhi has a natural interest in dance. And she has a good sense of rhythm. What if i put her in dance-class? It took over a year - to find a dance-teacher, to convince Mr.Appa and also for little Nidhi to grow up a little.
At 4-and-a-half years, i approached a teacher, let's call her by the initials of her real name - Mrs.PR, staying just next lane and teaching dance for almost a decade. A couple of children known to us were learning dance and thru them, we met her. At the outset she told us that usually she doesn't accept children as young as Nidhi coz she didn't have the patience to teach them, but luckily for us she was starting a new batch for children from 5-and-a-half years and Nidhi MIGHT fit in. She wanted to see Nidhi before accepting and after she met her and spoke to her she was convinced.
On the appointed day, Nidhi and I went to Mrs.PR's class. A lot of other children alongwith their parents were also assembled. What followed was a PR (Public Relations) excercise by Mrs. PR. She lectured to the students a bit abt maintaining discipline in her class and allowed one of her 'older' students(a girl of 7 or 8) to take over - Mrs.PR's impatience showing? She didn't care. A little while later she gathered the parents arnd her and now it was our turn to listen to her lecture. This is when i was greatful to her for her frankness coz she told us i am going to make your daughter cry and when she comes home crying it is ur duty as a mom to ignore her and send her right back to class. Apparently unless the children r afraid of her, they won't perform (Those were her exact words!). It was at this point i stood up with Nidhi and told her this approach unfortunately won't work for my daughter coz she's too young to understand y she is being terrorised. The teacher agreed this was her concern too for Nidhi. So i told her we'll see when Nidhi grows up a bit and we walked off, never to return.
First of all, i won't let anyone terrify a sensitive soul like Nidhi. And even if i did, there's no way her Appa is going to agree to this. So we gave up all ideas of dance class and life went on as usual.
Meanwhile the two children whom we knew(Mrs.PR's students) had their arangetram here - a huge show which was presided over by the Indian Ambassador to this country. Clearly the parents had left no stone unturned on this grand occasion. Relatives from all over the world had gathered and we went to meet everyone a couple of days before the function. Someone remarked that it seemed almost like a wedding to which the girls' uncle replied in no marriage the bride and groom were under so much pressure and had to endure so much torture. We came to know the girls had been practising dance for 8hrs a day the past one month. On the explicit instructions of Mrs.PR, they were first asked to abstain from eating anything and to follow a strict diet-plan. But as the big day approached nearer(and they had to visit an orthopedician for the aches and strain) they were asked the eat everything possible including non-veg to gain energy to perform. the girls refused saying first u starve us, now u stuff us - we don't feel like eating anything. One day before the function i asked the girls 'So, feeling excited?'. One of them replied for both saying i just wish tomorrow's day to be over - one way or other. i couldn't think of what to say to them and stuck to wishing them luck.
Now, don't get me wrong. i very well understand dance needs dedication. Especially classical dance. Hardwork, hardwork and more hardwork, until u reach perfection. unless u can devote that kind of time and energy it is meaningless. The two girls danced to perfection on that day, but at what cost? They had started learning dance with Mrs.PR when they were like Nidhi and today r on their way to become accomplished dancers. But, what abt their attitude. They danced superbly but the two mins they spent on stage socialising with their teacher while giving her a memento, both girls were as skittish as horses.
Did i want this for Nidhi? A child who loves to dance and shows a good sense of rhythm and style - shd i put her in a dance-class and crush her spirit and interest? A resounding No!
A few months later we shifted houses. i came to know of another teacher who had been teaching music, dance and veena from the past 14 years. A couple of children were going there but after my experience with Mrs.PR, i had no wish to burn my fingers again, more so bcoz it was Nidhi's fingers in question here. Six months were spent enquiring abt her, finding out if the teacher was really as kind as everyone seemed to say. At last, one day we went to visit her in her class, i was surprised to see girls as young as 3 years learning dance. this teacher was also performing therapy thru dance for autistic children. Clearly patience was not going to an issue here. When the little girls danced together there was no difference between who is bigger, who is younger, who is autistic, who is not. i could only see a group of girls dancing not perfectly, but beautifully enuf.
Nidhi joined dance-class with this teacher a few months before her 6th birthday. And on May 10th(a year and half later), she went on stage in a group of 6 girls, participating in a dance festival with 40 other groups. i thought i would cry, but i was smiling widely(like the macDonald clown) - when i saw my daughter dance there for the first time in classical style.
Today she is an infant in the world of dance. She has a looooooooooooooooong way of hardwork ahead of her. She enjoys her dance-class and never says 'i won't go today'. i find an easy camaradrie between Nidhi and her teacher. The teacher corrects her when she makes mistakes but Nidhi is not afraid of her, calls her 'Ma'am' with gr8 affection. Nidhi's dance moves r not perfect and even i spot mistakes in her sometimes. But, Nidhi's interest in dance is undiminished. She will hold her 'ara-mandi' position for 100, 200, even 500, but she will get up and stand straight if it pains her in class - she is not terrorised to ask for a glass of water during the class. And, best of all, she likes to dance.
When i sent the video of Nidhi's stage-performance to close friends and relatives, the common comment was how Nidhi danced with a smile and how much she enjoyed performing the dance. For this, i am grateful to God and to her teacher. It will take many many years and someday Nidhi will perfect her dancing style, but i am happy that by the Grace of God, she will reach there without falling out of love with her parents, teacher and most importantly, dance itself!
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