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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

A friend in need...

Yesterday was one of those days when none of Nidhi's friends came out to play in the evening. She came back home looking sad, went straight to Aditi and said "Please grow up faaaaaaaaaaaaast, Aditi. i hope all ur b'days come quickly. please grow up soon and come out and play with me!!!". A friend is need... could be a sister too!

And then today afternoon(summer vacation has started) i found Nidhi and Aditi playing teacher-teacher. Aditi was sitting obediently and gazing up at Nidhikka. Nidhikka had a ruler in her hand and whenever she used it on the board Aditi would burst out in laughter. This encouraged Nidhikka who proceeded to give a demonstration of dance-class teacher as well, needless to say Aditi was vastly amused. As for me, i was content to sit with my computer with the rare chance of not having to follow Aditi around checking on whatever latest 'kurumbu' she is upto.

Speaking of kurumbu, Aditi is finding a new one each day(sometimes multiple ones each day). She goes abt it quite seriously and turns arnd to give me a huge grin when she hears me say "no, no, no, no Aditi!'. in the last week she has managed to pull down wet clothes from the clothes stand, take out the digital camera from inside the TV cabinet, grab the broom when the maid left it lying down in another room, explored the pics of different Gods placed below the main Puja-stand and found a bag full of homepathic medicines that no one uses anymore in our house. All this when she is yet to learn to walk. She has been standing holding onto sofa, bed, tables, etc. She manages to hold on with one hand and do mischief with the other. Now she is trying to stand without support, undoubtedly gearing up for max mischief when she'll have both her hands free.

We clap enthusiastically when Aditi manages a few seconds of stand-alone before toppling on us or landing on her bum. but once she starts walking on her own, our work is gonna double in watching out for her kurumbu.

like all kids her age, aditi has a healthy attraction towards slippers, door-mats and drain-covers(in the kitchen and bathroom). whenever she manages to get hold of any of the above, she loses no time in taking it straight to her mouth and chewing on it with tooth-less gums. But give her food (which she decides is not tasty enuf), she goes phoooooooooh. i have learned to take it in stride and whenever she starts phooooooh i only try giving her a couple of more mouthfuls before calling it a day. yeah, excellent communication tool - the phooooooooh.

Another interesting news is that Aditi has a new responsibility, one she has given herself. she is the self-appointed 'Head of the Welcome Home Commitee for Santosh'. Whichever room she is in, the minute she hears the main-door being unlocked in the afternoon or evening, she rushes in full speed towards Appa, wearing the hugest smile possible. Mr.Appa can't resist this sight and proceeds to carry his baby thus depositing all the office-germs on the little one. (Nidhi has taken the advice of 'wash ur hands before u touch the baby when u come back from school' very seriously and i never have had to remind her EVEN ONCE). No point in fighting with appa and ponnu, so i just give aditi's evening bath only after appa comes home. Good solution - everyone's happy.

which reminds me how much i have changed since my second daughter was born, rather my parenting style has changed. i no longer bang my head when i get stuck with any problem, just find a work-around. The day i tried to get Aditi interested in a spoon of curd-rice, she screwed up her eyes and scrunched up her face and swallowed it with an what-an-awful-taste look. (and that's when we get the best yoghurt in the world here! what would she do if i get her some pulicha-moru from chennai!). If this had been Nidhi i would've carried her here and there trying to distract her while feeding her curd-rice, gone to the internet to search for 'how to feed ur baby curd rice', banged my head on the wall, discussed with santosh and banged his head on the wall too for good measure, called up my mom, made her call up her mom and so on and on. And with Aditi. Nothing. Zen. i stopped when a couple of more spoons elicited the same reaction. And tried again the next day. With a liberal pinch of salt added to the curd-rice. Lo, the child loves it! World peace...

yeah, me. good mom. smart mom. whatever... but how tempting it is to see Nidhi laze arnd the house with a book in her hand. how nice it would be to lounge abt the house without a care in the world, except what happens next in the story i am reading.

And so, when Nidhi got ready a couple of mins early to school one morning and i was still running arnd getting the lunch-box and breakfast ready, i found her thus(see pic below). Although i felt insanely J of her, i contented myself with just taking a pic.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

A Marathon Post : How Aditi was born

(i had written this long long ago, just after Aditi was born, but didn't have this blog. Found it now, so posting it here...)

Baby-name sites suggest the meaning of Aditi is Mother Earth, the one with abundant patience and prosperity. But to us, Aditi means Joy. Sheer, unadulterated, pure Happiness. Loads of which this baby has brought to our house ever since she was born...

Aditi was born two months ago, on 25th Sept 2011. So now i share my b'day month with Aditi and day with Nidhi(9th). The nine months of Nidhi's waiting for Aditi was complete at last and i have no words to describe how happy she was to see her little sister!

The best piece of advice i received during pregnancy was from Nidhi, of course. One particularly difficult day in the last month, she told me, 'Just chill, dude, chill'. Yup, that's what i needed. i chilled out and remembered to chill out until Aditi was finally born.

Since i had the tendency to go into pre-term labour, the doctor had asked me to be careful from 7th month onwards. i was taking it very easy, with no walks, no excercise, nothing at all. Just a little bit of easy-peasy cooking and the rest was taken care of by the maid. Santosh took over Nidhi's school-work and my stress-level was kept at a minimum. we crossed week upon week and kept count of the doc-visits, all of which were routine.

Then, dawned 12th sept. the day my mom was arriving from chennai. since she had visited us during 5th and 6th month, 12th sept was the earliest she could arrive for my delivery. i finished my morning routine and received a call from my cousin from a nearby country. Spoke to her for almost an hour, in which i jokingly told her my mom says hope u will be at home and not hospital when i arrive. i had told her no guarantee. Finished the phone call at 10 AM(i spent the whole time relaxing on the sofa with my legs raised up for comfort). 11 AM i started feeling uncomfortable. Braxton hicks, as usual, i thought. the pain started increasing in intensity. i called up santosh. he advised me to pop a vaazhu-guligai(also called my life-saviour during all nine months of pregnancy),to drink lot of water and lie down. Which i promptly did. Felt better for sometime. Then started feeling worse. Had my lunch and laid down again. Lunchtime arrived and santosh picked up nidhi from her school-van and came home. i was feeling OK and told santosh to go back to office after his lunch. then called him as soon as he reached office asking him to hurry home. Regular contractions. the darling guy didn't hesitate a minute. he hurried back home and in no time we were on the way to the hospital. i made my one and only mistake of the day - not take something for nidhi to eat in case our stay was long.

my gynacologist was on leave and i had met another doc in the same hospital. she was due in the hospital in an hour's time and meanwhile the nurse strapped me to a machine to measure the contractions. it was the first time i had seen such a machine and i wasted no time in asking the nurse all abt how to read the measurements. soon, santosh and i were looking at big, giant contractions(at least to our eyes). After sometime, the nurse unstrapped me and told me not worry coz the doc would be in in an hour's time. doc arrived. internal examination(the one exam i fear most in this world!). 1.5-2 cms. Wow, and u didn't feel much pain exclaimed the doc and proceeded to admit me for the night expecting the delivery to take place the next day - it was my 35th week. She also said there is a chance dilation may not happen further in which case i would be discharged the next day. however no food until delivery. thank you so much, for 9th months you r asked to stuff urself and one fine day, 'patni!'.

anyway, to cut a long story short, that night my mother arrived(and only then learned i was hospitalised) and next day she and nidhi waited at home for santosh's call saying 'baby's here!'. No call came, instead i was discharged (dilation remained the same at 1.5-2) and after making sure there is no risk of an infection to the baby coz of the opening, i came home to 2 more weeks of bed-rest.

37th week was complete. Pains on and off, and on again. 25th of sept was here. We drove to the hospital at 8 AM, this time with food, drink, story-books, color-pencils, et al,and Nidhi and my mom too. the previous day evening Nidhi had started crying when i started getting regular pain. so on 25th we made as if it was a picnic to the hospital and all of us tried to be in as good a mood as we could be. the previous night i had urged everyone to sleep well and not slept a wink myself. By 8:15 we were alloted a room(the paper-work having been completed by santosh the previous week itself - i could come anytime and just get admitted and have my baby!).

The first thing the nurse did was ask me to change into a white-colored hospital gown. it was more of a tent than a gown and in my tension i wore it ulta. the nurse corrected me, strapped me to different machines(monitor B.P. and measure contractions) and asked me to relax. a lot many nurses and doctors(dietician, anastesiologist, my gynacologist) came and asked me so many different questions. Lack of sleep and worrying abt the impending delivery, i was deteriorating rapidly. Rather my mood was. health-wise i was in perfect condition. the feeling of what-am-i-doing-here, pls-let-me-go-home-and-sleep was turning rapidly into a panic and santosh could see i was not doing well. he did a simple thing - asked me to just close my eyes and sleep. then he took nidhi away to a lounge. my mom was praying silently nearby. i fell asleep and woke up an hour later. refreshed and feeling better.

At, 10:00 AM a tall nurse(a britisher, all others were indians(mostly malayalees)) came and covered me with a huge acrylic blanket and disconnected all that needed to be and attached to the bed the rest. A male-orderly then wheeled the bed with me and all attachments to the operation theatre. My mom wished me all the best, nidhi sent me off with all the best, bye, see you soon, come back soon... all in loudest voices that i kept replying to until we turned round the lenghty corridor. Santosh walked quickly behind my bed and my mom thought he was going to wait outside the theatre. we had something more planned up our sleeve - santosh was to keep me company during the operation.
And, that is the single decision that i have been the most happy abt in my whole life. Whew, what an experience it was!

I kept watching the lights pass by overhead as the orderly quickly and comfortably rolled my bed into the operation theatre with practised ease. It was like stepping into another world. The first thing i noticed were the bright white lights - the whole place was brightly lit by what seemed like a 100 tubelights. And, the temperature was much lower than the air-conditioned corridor. There was a lobby/reception area where a lot of people were standing arnd talking. All nurses, doctors, orderlies. All dressed in green, including a green cap covering the head. And, remarkably cheerful and talking in what seemed to me like loud voices. there was one guy who was tall and good-looking who opened the double door to let my bed in. Looking all around me, i felt i had stepped into a movie or TV-soap. The good-looking guy was not part of the team that operated on me and i never did find out if he was a doc or a nurse or just a guy employed to open the door to cheer up patients with his good looks!

By this time, i can't really describe the state of mind i was in - on one hand i was worried and anxious abt the impending surgery, on the other there was the excitement that soon we'll have a baby in our hands. i was also trying to look arnd objectively and see if i could identify any person or instrument(no on both accounts) - it was my way of trying to control the rapidly escalating panic that had visited me earlier that day morning.

When we rolled to a stop in the operating-theatre's reception area, only then i noticed that Santosh had followed us in! The orderly asked him if he will be going inside the theatre and Santosh said yes with a smile. Then he showed me something in his hand and made sure i noticed that he was placing it under the pillow on my bed. then the orderly took Santosh to a small room inside to change into what i like to call surgical-greens.

One note abt my dear husband. He is scared of hospitals, doctors, injections, medicines, blood. Scared as in dead scared. Paranoid. he has a phobia of blood and a simple injection can cause him to break out in sweat and raise his BP high(as i have seen many times in the past. whenever he has to take an injection i literally fall on him and hold him down coz i am scared one day he is going to kick the nurse!). During the last few doc-visits during this pregnancy we had learned that husband was allowed to be present during delivery. as soon as i came to know this i told santosh that although it would be nice if he tagged along, there is no compulsion from my side that he shd be present. i left it up to him to decide what he wants to do. he had told me he would come, but i was sure if he changed his mind in the last minute i wouldn't mind.

When Nidhi was born, Santosh was away, in another country. He had left in my 8th month(after being forced by me coz i felt opportunity never knocks twice). although the decision has turned out to be the right one for us coz ever since we have lived here and grown to love this lifestyle, there has always been one regret, that santosh was not right there when nidhi was born(even though the doc would never have allowed him into the operating theatre in chennai). also, until santosh was there with me i was in perfect health. he left for abroad and 2 weeks later i was admitted in the hospital for pre-term labour(my due date was a month and a half away). i have always felt santosh is my lucky charm. of course, he cheers me up at all times and that always helps! so this time when i became pregnant the first thing we decided was Santosh would be by my side always. but never did i imagine that he would follow me even into the operating-theatre!

so here i was lying in my bed looking all arnd and wondering why do theatres have to be so noisy(based on my past experience, when nidhi was born the doc chattered away continously for the 45 mins i was inside the theatre, talking with her colleagues abt going to the market, meeting her friend and other such totally inconsequential rubbish(to my ears) all the while when i kept thinking hello, is my baby ok? can u plz concentrate on me! and, can we have some peace and quiet plz!)

Looking at the smile on santosh's face and the something that he pushed under my pillow, i started calming down. i was immensely happy that not only did santosh stick to his word of staying by me even during surgery, he even did it so cheerfully. While santosh was away, the orderly came back and pushed my bed into the actual operation theatre. i was rolled beside the surgical-stand(although a bed, it was quite narrow and made me wonder again why this kanjoosi and is this the norm all over the world). i was then asked to get up and perform some acrobatics. which means i was asked to sit up and move myself into the surgical stand. This i did with considerable grace, in spite of the fact i was as big as an elephant. but i knew moving myself like this was quite easy compared to the acrobatics i would be asked to perform later, like turning myself once the spinal anesthesia was administered. i wasn't disappointed.

as soon as i lay down on my new bed, i remembered to pick something up from under the pillow on my other bed. This was a very beautiful pocket-sized picture of Lord Krishna. The something that Santosh had given me just as we entered the theatre. It was Krishna as a baby, sitting with a cute smile and eating butter. Who can resist from smiling at this sight! And thus i was also calmed and comforted.

once i lay in the stand, i looked all around me. to my left a couple of nurses were counting and arranging the surgical instruments. behind them was a wall which housed a big clock showing the current time and numerous other clocks showing the time in many other countries. surprisingly india wasn't one of them. Then, straight ahead i could see a white-board with a green(of course) marker pen. a nurse was rubbing out the contents of the previous surgery and writing a fresh list of surgical instruments, with one of the nurses calling out the count of each of them being used. i could see titles like baby-sex, time, weight, etc. being left blank.

A couple of nurses asked me to sit up with both my legs dangling down the stand. one of them asked me if i spoke tamil or malayalam, while another pushed a stand to rest my feet on. My pillow was placed on my lap and i was asked to hunch over it. My blanket was placed in front of me and cellotaped to my gown at the shoulder(i know, i was equally surprised). then the anesthesiologist stepped up from the head of the surgical-stand(no, i won't call it a bed!) and went behind me. This lady seemed like one from a neighbouring country and she was dressed to the nine! Manicured hands, heavy make-up and a branded handbag(when she visited me in my room earlier), she belonged more in a beauty-parlour than in a hospital i thought. also i wasn't happy when i heard her complaining that a previous patient had asked technical questions of the nurse rather than the doc(herself). i could only think no wonder.

And now this doctor stepped behind me and threw open my gown to expose my back. the nurses who helped me earlier had moved away performing other duties. the doctor told me she is going to give me a couple of injections - test-dose and such. she told me to hunch as much as possible and started poking me with needles which i am sure were more than a couple of times than she said. since i had planned 'shut up and put up' to be my mantra during delivery, i didn't say anything and tried my best not to wince. a little while later the doctor started muttering 'can't find the spine' and started shouting at the nurses 'Am i to work alone or what! no one to help me?'. my panic started mounting again and it was all i could do not to shout out 'don't blame ur incompetency on the nurses!'.

one of the nurses started talking to me in tamil(remember she had asked me earlier) and i, in my confused state started replying to her in malayalam. i was asked to hunch in such a way as to push my spine outwards and somehow the thing was done and i felt the sharp stab of the final injection and i was immediately asked to lift my legs up the stand and lie down. all this happened in a rush and i was quickly made comfortable with the pillow placed under my head by the doctor herself. i thanked her and then thanked God silently. the anesthesia took a while to take effect and unlike the last time when i felt my body floating gravity-less from neck down, this time i just felt plain numb. my hands were spread on either side of me and stands put up for resting them. on my left hand and chest were plugged numerous censors which were connected to displays behind my bed. when i was sitting up earlier i had noticed the machines and could identify only one which monitors BP.

at this time, my gynacologist entered. i could not see her, but could hear her voice and imagined her to be perched on a stool while the anesthesia took effect. a strange thing took place when my doctor entered - the whole place fell silent. all the nurses shut up and only one of them was answering my doctor, who was asking something abt the surgical instruments(gloves or sutures or something i forget). for a minute i hoped, i really really hoped, perhaps there won't be any discussion abt markets and friends and vegs and lunches. and, let me tell u, there wasn't! :-)

a little while later my doctor came up to my side and checked if i was feeling numb. on my assent she informed me that she was starting the surgery by 'preparing me'(whatever that meant). i said 'ok, doctor', the first in the line of many OKs whenever my doc spoke to me during surgery. The time was 10:20 AM. Almost immediately i heard someone telling the doctor 'her husband is ready and waiting outside'. the doc asked me if he was planning to come in and i said yes, if it's ok with you. she said ok, but first let me prepare you. then i understood that preparation meant spreading a big blue 'tarpaulin' sheet across my body right up to my face. the excess sheet near my face was folded up forming a blue wall and that was to be the scenery i could gaze on throughout the surgery whenever i faced forward. but, i had no complaints as the scenery on my right-side improved much more just then, as Santosh slipped into a stool placed near my right hand.

My first thought was 'Arre, u look so handsome, u shd've been a doctor!'. :-)) in the surgical-greens, santosh looked like one of those good-looking doctors u find in movies. it helped that he was smiling steadily and didn't look a bit worried or tense. that helped me tremendously to calm down and from then on i didn't feel even a ripple of worry. All that remained was the excitement to see the baby! Many days after the surgery santosh told me he was quite worried and tense, but i had to say that he did an excellent job of hiding it - which was the best thing he could've ever done for me!

now on my left i had the anesthesiologist asking me how i felt and on my right i had my husband asking the same. the anesthesiologist kept asking me if i was feeling any pain and if i wanted to sleep. i refused her a couple of times coz i wanted to be wide awake so that i could see my baby asap when she was born. santosh held my hand and took out a couple of pictures for me to gaze at - Lord Muruga and Ayyappa-Swamy. Unbelievebly it was Tiruchendur Murugan(my fav God in the world) - a pocket-calender given by Chennai Silks. i passed on the Lord Krishna's photo he had given me earlier and santosh held the three pictures out so that i could gaze on them at all times. he asked me if i felt any pain and even though i replied in the negative, he wiped his forehead a couple of times which made me believe that although i was the one undergoing  surgery, given his phobia of blood, we were in this together.

Hardly 10-15 mins had passed when the doctor suddenly announced 'the baby'll be out in 2 mins'. i said OK and was totally unprepared for what followed next. There was a splash of blood and lo, the doc held up a beautiful baby facing me above my blue wall(the tarpaulin sheet). 'Wow!' was all i could say while the rest of the theatre erupted in cheer. The sight of the baby all covered in blood and mucus was one i'll never forget in my whole life. What an awesome experience! Santosh and i exchanged looks of relief and started smiling happily. A few mins later on my right-side the british nurse appeared holding the baby in what looked like an old towel. once again, we went 'Wow!'. the baby was abt to be taken for her first bath/cleaning. the doctor and nurse informed santosh that he could go and see. with an 'i'll be back', the new dad vanished from his spot in a second, like the grinning chesire cat in Alice's Wonderland and i was left to contemplate the red dots that had appeared on the blue wall by the spurting of blood. And now the doctor started her actual work and i felt quite a lot of pulling and pushing and tugging. The silence in the theatre continued to be absolute except for a couple of instructions to the nurses given by the doc in a low voice.

i didn't know what to expect next, but a few mins later surprisingly, the chesire cat, i mean Santosh returned and i immediately started asking him if he heard her cry,etc. He told me with great joy that Aditi opened her eyes for the first time and it was him she looked at before anything or anyone! he told me she had his nose and weighed 3.1 kg. We were very happy that the weight crossed 3 kgs (Nidhi was 3.5kgs) what with all the illness(not just the nausea) i faced during the intial days of pregnancy. We both agreed that the baby seemed to look tall, 'a long baby'.

Some time about now i felt a pain in my chest and i got scared thinking i am having a heart-attack. i moved my hands a bit trying to relieve the pain but it was of no use. i started complaining to Santosh abt it while the anesthesiologist noticed my discomfort and said she'll take care. apparently she injected Paracetomal into the IV and in a few mins the pain was less, though not gone completely. i couldn't help my thoughts which started turning filmy 'O God, pls let me live for my baby!' :-)

And then, yet again the british nurse appeared holding Aditi wrapped up and at once she placed the baby with her head resting on my chest. And lo, Aditi turned her head slightly up and gazed at me and i was thrilled! Yahoooooooo, i am a mommy once again! I said to santosh 'she's looking at me, looking at me!!! o god, she's so cute!!!' Then the nurse told me that she's taking the baby away to be kept warm in an incubator and as soon as i return to my room Aditi will join me there and we'll try breast-feeding. The doc informed santosh that if he wanted to go with the baby he could do so. The man performed the vanishing-act yet again (but, not before thanking doctor profusely) and i was left alone to re-live the past few moments when Aditi looked at me for the first time and trying to etch in my mind permanantly the sight of Aditi as she was being held up by the doctor as soon as she was born.

The major portion of the operation was after the baby was out and exactly after an hour since she began, the doctor announced 'Ok Saraswathi, the surgery is complete'. i thanked her very much and told her i also appreciated her whole team in the theatre. the doctor left after telling me that i will be spending an hour in the recovery-room and then can go back to my room.

my original bed was rolled by my side and all the nurses in the theatre joined hands to lift me from the surgical-stand and place me on my bed. i was rolled on to a room with a lot of beds seperated by curtains. i could see a clock on the wall on my right-side. the time was 11:20 AM. there were a couple of other patients too, a lady and a man. i deduced this from the voices and could not see them as the nurse had drawn a curtain around my bed. the nurse bade me sleep and waited a couple of beds away. at this point i realised i was feeling cold. And soon enuf i was shivering uncontrollably. the lower portion of my body was still numb and although i felt only a dull sense of pain, i could feel that my body was trying to work out the trauma of being operated upon. The nurse approached me and asked me if i needed anything and i told her abt the coldness. she said it could be a delayed reaction to the temperature in the theatre which was much colder than the rest of the hospital. she covered me with a couple of extra blankets, but my teeth continued to chatter on their own.

Later i learned that meanwhile, Santosh had gone back to my room to convey the news to my mom and Nidhi. Although the nursery was right next to my room, in which my mom and Nidhi were waiting, they didn't know that Aditi was waiting for them next-door! Soon Santosh, Nidhi and my mom went to the nursery and took turns to gaze at the the new-born. Nidhi reached out and touched her little sister for the first time - this moment was captured by Santosh in his mobile. Aditi was sharing the nursery with yet another new-born like her, born a few mins earlier that day. Santosh called up his parents and sister and informed them all abt the safe arrival of little Miss.Aditi.

Exactly an hour later, i was wheeled into my room, chattering teeth and all.

When i finished my post-graduation(after much hard-work) i had promised myself i would never write an exam in my life if i could help it - to spare myself all the tension and hardwork i put in whenever i hear the word exam! A little while later i joined the company i had gotten into thru campus and the very first thing they did was to give us techincal training for 2-3 months and make us write exams - to decide which branch we would be going into (Java, .Net, Peoplesoft, mainframes, etc.) Java was the most sought after, needless to say i did my best and was the only girl to get selected in my batch. i never kept up the promise i made to myself regarding exams!

In the same way, based on my last experience with Nidhi, i knew although the surgery was completed successfully, we weren't out of the woods yet. The challenges were just abt to begin. Starting with breastfeeding, Aditi's first su-su, first poop, etc. A few mins after i settled into my room, Aditi was wheeled in in her cradle. Once again she was placed near me and i gave her a 'kichi' on her head calling her 'kondai' for the first time. The nurse said shall we try feeding and i asked Santosh to wait outside for a bit. Nidhi firmly refused to leave my bedside now that her beloved sister was also here. My mom and Nidhi stood on my left side while Aditi was placed in the crook of my right arm, her face turned to me to help her feed. The second she was placed near me she started suckling! i almost had tears in my eyes - i was so happy coz i knew every baby takes its time and in rare cases some of them even refuse to do so(one of them in my own family). Thank God, first challenge met!

Santosh asked us anxiously from behind the curtains in the doorway, she's drinking? she's refusing? All of us, including the nurse started smiling and i marofyed a dialogue of SRK from Chak De - 'Jo use seekh ke aana tha, woh usne seekh ke aayi hai' and my mom started saying 'of course, she's Nidhi's sister. how will she not feed!'. i still remember during Nidhi's time, the malayalee nurse had said 'miduki kutty aana, palu kudikyanadu kandille!'.

I was forbidden to get up for 24hrs bcoz of the spinal anasthesia, but Santosh and Nidhi became permanent fixtures beside the cradle. Santosh spent so much time bending down to gaze at his baby in close-up that i thought he would be the one requiring back-care, not me after my surgery. i could see Aditi only from my sleeping position, though it helped that her cradle was in an inclined angle. Nidhi was greatly excited and talked thru the day alternately spending time with me and Aditi. My mom continued her prayers to thank God and alongwith Santosh spent the day calling up others and sharing the good news. As for Santosh, it was one of the happiest days in his (and my) life and i will never forget his face shining with joy! Oye, it made him even more handsome, as if such a thing were possible ;-)

The thing with C-section is the milk doesn't arrive immediately and the first few hrs the baby has to be supported with formula-milk. i remember being paranoid when i became Mom the first time. It took a day (with much suckling on Nidhi's part and much praying on my part) for milk to start flowing. This time i was prepared and part of my preparations included drinking oats-kanji daily from 8th month onwards. Kanji(oats, raagi, etc.), milk, butter-milk as suggested by my aunt and orange-juice(warm) as suggested by the dietician in the hospital r best for producing milk. And, i found it to be true thru my experience with Aditi.

But now however, few hrs after the surgery, milk had not appeared yet and as usual i had started my frantic prayers. All Doctors will tell you the only way for milk to start flowing is to let the baby feed as much as possible. Yes, i noticed Nidhi put in all her efforts when she was a baby. And, then there's little Miss.Aditi. Soon she caught on that when u can get formula with zero effort on ur part, y waste ur energy with ur mom? the more profitable proposition is to just enjoy ur mom's warmth when u r placed next to her and go right off to sleep. and this is what she did! As advised by the nurses we would poke her cheek, chin, ears in order to wake her up and continue trying to feed. Other than producing a red-rash on her cheek, this had no other effect. Aditi would get irritated at being woken up, cry awhile, suckle a couple of times(not enuf at all) and drop right back to sleep. And, wake up to be fed formula by enthusiastic nurses. A few hrs passed by, then i started getting really worried. Won't be i able to feed my baby?

The anasthesia took quite a while to wear off and i had a relatively pain-free 6 to 8 hrs during which feeling returned to my body bit-by-bit. Though my teeth were still chattering. At one point i noticed my whole body was shivering, but the only solution of the nurse and doctor was to to reduce the a.c. in my room. surprisingly this worked and by night-time i was alright. Santosh stayed back with me while Nidhi and my mom went home for a break from all the day's excitement.

The next day early in the morning (as in 3 AM or something), Aditi went in for a diaper change(not her first) after which the nurse informed me that she had passed her first motion and done her first su-su as well. Thank God! Once my mom came in the morning i hurried to inform her, as next to me, she is the most paranoid person regarding these things.

In the morning Aditi was wheeled away to have her first proper bath and at 11 AM(once 24 hrs had passed since surgery) i was taken for a shower too. The nurse will help u the first time and from then on, expect that u do it urself. Similarly with feeding, apart from the first time, it was solely upto us how we would manage feeding Aditi. i kept telling Santosh on how we r not keeping up with feeding and at this rate God knows when the milk will appear. santosh came up with a brilliant idea. i would feed Nidhi (by this time i could sit up and the first thing i did after my shower was to sit in my bed and take Aditi in my arms for the first time! Also, this gave us a much more comfortable position to feed from.) Placing numerous pillows for support and covered in cozy blankets, Aditi and i would sit down for feeding and Santosh would sit nearby. Whenever Aditi fell asleep, he would stroke her head with her baby's-cap and tickle her lightly. This would wake her up without irritating her and she would try to feed again. This simple but brilliant solution worked and in a few hrs Aditi was feeding well and could be taken off formula. Hurrah!

We stayed for 4 days in the hospital. Santosh and i would spend the morning with Aditi - talking to her, laughing with her, playing with her - having become parents a second time we wanted to savour the experience as much as we could. Later in the day Nidhi and grandmom(my mom) would come and it would be their turn to play with Aditi. The evenings would be full of friends and relatives dropping in to see the new addition to our family.

After being discharged from the hospital, Santosh and i took Aditi home in our car, nestled against me. Half-way thru we gave a missed call to amumma(my mom) to get the 'alathi' ready. When we reached our apartment, santosh parked as close as possible to the entrance of our building. And there stood Nidhi and amumma, standing with umbrellas so that not even the slightest of sun could touch the baby! i held Aditi and my mom helped with the umbrellas. Nidhi carried the balloons(left over from decorating the hospital-room) and Santosh carried a few essentials. After 'alathi', we entered our home.

And, lived happily ever after! :-)

Whenever i thank God for everything going so smoothly when Aditi was born, in the same breath i also thank Santosh, Nidhi, my mother (and my father for managing alone sending my mom here months together) - for being the most supportive family in this world and seeing Aditi and me thru everything at the hospital and ever after too!

Ok, so, if u r still reading this, pls congratulate urself for ur perseverance since u have now reached the end of this marathon post! After all, it's not so easy to give birth to a baby, then y shd reading abt it be easy! ;-)

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Nidhi's First Dance Performance

The last post was a rant that was pending from a long time. What i actually wanted to write abt Nidhi's first dance performance is this...

Nidhi has been learning dance for a little more than a year, what with so many holidays and yearly vacations to India. So i thought she is a long way from going on stage for a performance. Last month for some reason or the other she missed three weeks of classes. Then suddenly i get a call from her dance teacher, y rn't u sending Nidhi, we r preparing for a show next week. i popped my eyes out and said really? The next half an hour was spent in me questioning the teacher how is it possible u r selecting Nidhi and how will she ever pick up a dance that other, more experienced children have been practising every day for the past two weeks. What abt co-ordination? And, what abt costume,
jewellery, etc.?

Next i had to call Santosh coz he's the one who will have to drop Nidhi everyday for the next 1 week for dance practice. On hearing abt the show, Santosh agreed readily. He also agreed to come shopping with us.

And, then the unfortunate happened. The teacher's husband had a leg-operation redindering him unable to walk. The teacher became so busy that she cancelled her daily dance practice asking hildren to come only during the twice-weekly regular classes. i was terrified. how will nidhi manage? the teacher said y don't u go to one of the girls' house and practice there. we called up and arranged with one of the moms that we will come for a day and record the dance so that nidhi can practise at home whenever possible. i started a countdown in my mind that only 6 days remained for the show.
The next day we went to the girl's house. First of all the mom started questioning us how is it possible that Nidhi will learn the dance in such a short time. and she has such short hair, how on earth r u going to plait her hair and fix a kunjalam on it, she asked me. This was the fear in my heart too and i started going downhill thinking how on earth r we going to manage everything. On top of that the mom started saying her daughter is too tired to practise after two weeks of dance practice. she kept saying yesterday we went to a get-together, today we have a get-together, tomorrow we have a get-together... my daughter is too tired. Parties and get-togethers are a way of life here and we were amused that the lady was trying to impress us with her social life. anyway, we recorded the girl's dance (with music not good enuf to practise on) and came back home.

Nidhi meanwhile had not much to say. she came home and practised the dance and it took two hrs to get everything in a flow and for her to do the dance in sequence once without missing a step. dancing beatutifully was long way off and co-ordination with other girls was a question mark coz we had no clue what the others were doing. whenever i would ask her to practise Nidhi would oblige happily. she had no tension of any sort coz i was worrying enuf for all of us combined - abt the dance, the costume, the hair-style.

I called up the teacher the next day morning and asked her yet again if she was sure she is selecting Nidhi for this particular performance? I must appreciate the teacher's confidence on Nidhi - she said just let her practise and i'll see her two days later in the regular class. We had one day of weekend left with us, so it was dance in the morning, afternoon, evening. Santosh smartly outsourced the lunch as i was with Nidhi all the time, correcting her, teaching her and fine-tuning her. Aditi was quite happy with all the activity and she would start smiling in recoginition everytime we re-played the song. she would watch her Nidhikka dance and Santosh or i would hold her back from getting under Nidhi's feet.

Nidhi went to school the next day. After lunch she told me shall we practise? i forbid it and made her sleep well thru the afternoon. Then spent the evening in dance practice. The next day we practised a little at home before leaving for dance-class in the evening. i went to meet her teacher after the class and the minute she saw me the teacher said 'nannaa panraale Nidhi...'. i heaved a sigh of relief and wondered how on earth did she do it! :-) we discussed the costume, make-up etc. and came home.

The next day Santosh was busy, but day after he took us shopping. we found nothing in the shops where we expected to find everything. santosh drove us to another place and after stepping in and out of many shops and after a bit of creativity and mix-and-match we came home armed with 'shouri'(artificial hair), kunjalam, odiyanam, few other jewellery and the most important safety
pins and hair-pins.

The next day afternoon, after Nidhi came home from school, we sat together and literally tied the 'shouri' to her hair. she practised her dance with this hair-style. although it stayed on, i was not happy coz it didn't look pretty enuf. in the evening again we sat with the hair and i was happier with the
result this time. we went for a complete dress-up and asked Mr.Appa's opinion when he came home from office.

One day before the programme, Nidhi went for her regular dance class. i went after class to show the teacher the pattu-paavadai that was to be worn. luckily i had some over-the-top ultra-glitzy jewellery(gifted by my parents) that i have never worn once in my life. also, for sent' reasons, i had kept the glittering maati & thongal (earrings) worn for my marriage. i was happy to put all these to use now and Nidhi was glittering like a.. like a... i-dunno.. some glittering thing!

Finally, the big day arrived and what with Aditi's routine to be attended to, we planned the day in detail. the teacher had asked us to organise another hour of practice with nidhi's dance-partner. i called up the other girls too and that morning we had a couple of hrs of dance practice in our house(plus a whole lot of giggling, joking, computer-games, playing with Aditi, trying to make her laugh....) - we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. Santosh, as usual, organised the food from outside and Nidhi(and Aditi) had a blast with all her friends.

i started Nidhi's getting ready a good 2 hrs before we were to leave and found that every minute of those two hrs was needed. Meanwhile santosh got himself and aditi ready and 'packed'(this involves a lot of things coz remember Aditi is just 7 months old - the younger they r the more the things they need!). At last Nidhi was ready and i found we had just 5 mins left to leave. In what can be termed a world record, i got ready in 4 mins and spent 1 min in photographing Nidhi. we reached the venue on time - 30 mins before the show starts. once we reached there, Nidhi proudly led the way bcoz the hall was in her school only. the canteen-wallah uncle gave Nidhi a thumbs-up! we soon found her teacher who was very appreciative of her hair-style first and foremost. we were among the first to arrive. two other groups under Nidhi's dance teacher were taking part and the rest were all from different teachers/choreographers/enthu-moms - 40 groups in all. it was a dance festival was being organised by an Indian club. we spent some time talking to the other parents and the show started just 15 mins past 6. Nidhi's group was 15th in the sequence. so we spent our time watching the other dance performances.

when 'the mom'(the girl whose house we learned the dance first time, incidently a very sweet girl) arrived, i was happy to literally c her jaw drop open in surprise at Nidhi's hair-style. oye, wait till u see my daughter dance i thought(ok, i know i shdn't be mean but that lady was really discouraging and if we listened to her we would've dropped out). other moms also started asking me how i fixed her hair and i started worrying a bit thinking i hope the hair stays on till the end of her performance. i called nidhi aside and told her whatever happens, even if ur hair falls off, just continue and complete the dance. don't miss ur steps.

                                                                  Started with...


                                                                    ..ended up with!


When the programme started Nidhi was in the row before us watching the other dance shows. she kept turning back at intervals with an extremely worried look on her face. i started telling her it's ok, u'll do perfectly well, don't worry, don't get tensed. after a while she shook her head and asked 'Aditi is ok? i am worried!' Turns out Nidhi was scared for her sister bcoz of the loud music! (A few weeks back we went to a music concert and had to take turns keeping Aditi outside due to the loud noise). Thankfully, Aditi had gone to sleep in my lap and woke up just before her Nidhikka's dance started.

Once it was the turn of Nidhi's group the teacher took them backstage and sent them off. she came back and stood in the front row and watched her students with great pride. santosh walked up to the middle row and took up position in such a way he could get the best shot in his camera. Aditi and i just sat watching the show. although i was shooting as a backup with santosh's mobile, i was more focused on watching the show live and feasting my eyes on my daughter dancing on stage for the first time in classical style.



it was a fusion dance on one of A.R.Rehman's compositions, with the girls on the left dancing in western style and the girls on the right in a mixture of bharatnatyam and folk style. Nidhi was on the right, literally glittering! we had told her to forget smiling and concentrate on the steps coz during practice she would mis-step whenever she smiled. when her dance partner joined her in practice it became worse - both the girls would end up giggling. so i had told her to forget smiling and focus on the dance. Now, we were all pleasantly surprised when Nidhi danced with such a beautiful smile on a face and that too correctly. I asked her later and she told me she was not at all nervous rather she was so pleased to go on stage. wow, i like this attitude!

Since it was a dance festival and not competition, each and every participant got a certificate and a bag of goodies after their performance. there were so many assorted goodies in that bag that santosh and i even got a toothbrush each for ourselves from it! since aditi was getting restless, after a couple of dances after nidhi's, we went out and found the teacher with all her students and parents gathered arnd her. all the children had performed really well. when the teacher saw us she called us to the front and started telling everyone arnd her how nidhi learned this dance in no time and performed it so well on stage. i thanked her a lot and only then really understood how much confidence the teacher had in Nidhi for selecting her in such short notice.

we came out and Santosh took us girls(Nidhi, aditi and me) for an ice-cream treat. And, came home and slept like logs... to be woken up by Aditi as usual early in the morning next day!