A for Aditi, B for Bold...

Two conversations:

Santosh's brother is visiting us. He has just stepped into our house and said hello to aditi. Aditi has seen him when she was a baby of 1.5 years. Now, her first question to him : "Why you didn't bring your family?"

Aditi is talking to Thatha on the phone.
Aditi : Thatha, what are you doing?
Thatha : I am watching T.V.
Aditi : Instead of watching T.V., why don't you cook something?
Thatha : i don't know to cook. i know only to eat! hahaha....

Everytime she says something like this my first impulse is to correct her. But, she is just being curious and wants to know something. So i keep quiet and let her be. My only worry is B for Bold shdn't become B for Bossy...

Reminds of the time when Little Nidhi had asked her Bangalore thatha very innocently - "Thatha, onaku kaadu kekatha?"

Aditi at 4

Dear Aditi,

The first time u looked at me and smiled when u were a 1-1.5 month baby, you lit up my soul. i am happy to let you know, even today it's the same. :-)

You have many different kinds of smiles - the shy smile, when u accomplish something and show it to me, the soft smile to cheer me (or Appa or Nidhi-akka) up, usually accompanied by a hug, the smile that u put on when u dance, and then there is a real smile which is when u are really happy or amused or you are enjoying something to the most. Although i cherish every smile of yours, the real smile which shows all ur tiny teeth lined up in a perfect row, that's one that warms my heart the most. Everyday, i strive to see at least one such smile on ur face. When u first learned to smile, no one knew what could make u smile (the same thing would never work twice!), so me, appa, nidhi-akka, amumma and the maid would keep on trying to get u to smile. Even today it's like that - i never know when that perfect all-teeth smile will come. It could be something simple - like taking a ride on the carousel, or watching a particularly funny episode of Krishna, or something which Nidhi-akka says to make you laugh. Whatever it is, it lights up our day.

Talking. That's the main activity of our day. u talk, i talk. u talk more, i talk more. u talk some more and then, make me talk some more. and then, u talk again and then i am tired of talking and Nidhi-akka and Appa come home and u start talking to them. we can talk to u abt anything. everything will be entered, processed and given an output by ur tiny self. every thing is of interest to you. i can and have literally talked to you abt anything on earth, from cooking to space, from fish to God, from spoons to continents. U will listen, ask, talk and store. A couple of years later, u remind me i had told you something someday. And, that makes all the talking worthwhile.

And, same thing applies to books.

Aditi, u and i share a good wave-length - it's probably all the time we spend together. When u say something, i am the first one to get it. Or maybe it's bcoz u keep me on my toes, i need to be with you, if not ahead, to understand you and amuse you. Like for example, Appa and me were talking buying a new car and u butted in with 'mamma, can u buy a hiccup?', and i retorted 'u mean pick-up?' and Appa shook his head slightly at both of us! lol.

But i must confess, i dunno what you will say or do the very next minute. It's never what we expect... At your 4th bday party, u had to answer a question 'Whom do you like most - Amma or Appa?' and u said 'My friends. i love my friends the most!'.  And then gave appa, me and nidhi-akka hugs so that we don't feel bad.

i am trying to think of what are your qualities and ur nature and ur behaviour and what u r at 4 years, i am unable to find the right words. or maybe i don't want to judge u or slot u into anything. so instead, i am going to just write down a few conversations that have happened in the recent past. it will also serve to understand why we don't have cable TV at home.

Aditi : i have a pattern at school.
Me (not paying complete attention coz i am cooking) : Are you learning patterns at school? (it's something she has come across a couple of times in her prev school in CA)
Aditi : yeah, there is a pattern in my school.
Me : ok, tell me. what is it?
Aditi (gesturing with hand in chopping motions) : See... school, no school, school, no school.... Can u see a pattern?
Me (stunned) : O My God, you are talking of a real life pattern.
Aditi (excited smile) :yes, yes.
Me - speechless and cooking forgotten...
(Aditi goes to school on Tue and Thurs and it works out into a school-day, no school-day pattern if u work it out).

Santosh and i are watching a scene from Rangeela where Aamir Khan is selling tickets in black saying 'dus-ka-tees, dus-ka-tees, dus-ka-tees'. We didn't realise Aditi was paying attention too, until she asked "why is that man going arnd saying 'disgusting, disgusting, disgusting'"!!! :-))

We celebrated a 10-day long Ganesh Chathurthi Festival and Aditi was very involved with prayers and neividhyam twice every day. Once, she pointed to the agarbatti and asked "Why we have to do smoking for pullayaar?" :-))

I am discussing with Santosh "Nidhi has gone slim", Aditi interrupts with a shocked "What! Nidhi-akka has become Muslim?" :-))

Appa and Nidhi-akka are discussing the problems in their new office, school respectively.
Aditi : i also had problems in my school. But i am brave and managed it.
Me: How did u manage it?
Aditi : Simple, i changed my school.
:-))
(We had moved her from one school to another after coming to Texas.)

So, that is Aditi at 4 - Entertaining and Thought-provoking - 24X7. No need for cable-tv (Tv is television as she will tell you).

Happy Birthday from Amma, Appa and Nidhi-akka! May God bless you and happy long-life to you....

Best wishes,
Amma.

Dear God

On the morning of paal-kaachal in our new apartment in Texas, Nidhi is watching me as i boil the milk. I explain - "Now i am going to give the milk to umaachi". Aditi - "And, corn-flakes too?" :-))

All our saamaan arrived from California today. After the unloading was done and all the furniture fixed, i say "Thank you God, for bringing all our saamaan safely." Aditi can't keep quiet "Amma, u have to thank the truckers. they brought all our luggage."

All this from the child  who on Vishu day last year, when she received $100 from her Appa, we told her keep it safely. Immediately she kept it back near Vishu-kani and said "God will keep it safe for me!"

Aditi, i have to say, dear child, i am trying very hard but it's not easy to understand the little person that u are and the way ur head works!! Help me, God...

Butts, India, Tamil (Unrelated :-)

When Nidhi was small she had asked what kinda currency is 'bucks'? Aditi has gone one step further and calls it 'butts'. She will take something in her hand and announce confidently 'this is 5000 butts'.

After our trip to India, Aditi keeps talking abt it. Santosh keeps asking her questions abt her trip and her replies bring back memories.

Appa : Who's your friend in Chennai?
Aditi (without hesitation) : Selvi (the servant-maid in chennai).

Appa : What will thatha buy you in Chennai?
Aditi (again without hesitation) : Kinderjoy!

And, one conversation from Chennai - Aditi peers at her thin shirt-less thatha and announces to him:
Aditi : You are a skeleton.
Thatha(with a smile) : I am an old man.
Aditi (shakes her head) : You are an old skeleton.
:-))

One day in chennai, my mom calls me and tells me Aditi gave her a shock. It seems my mom told her Aditi is Appa's daughter, Nidhi is Appa's daughter and asked her if Amma is Appa's daughter too? Aditi shook her head and said Amma is thatha's daughter. Without someone expicitly telling her who is who she seems to have got it... :-)

Aditi's fav story from India is one of 'Woodcutter and the kodali' narrated by my cousin Jyothi exactly once during a busy wedding we attended in Kerala. After coming back, she sat on her father's lap and proceeded to recount the tale flawlessly, surprising us. Aditi has become a fav with all my cousins and uncles and aunts. Our entire family stayed in a hotel in order to attend a cousin's wedding and Aditi grew very friendly with Viji-chithi. She tells me even now that she needs to go back to that hotel bcoz Viji-chithi is waiting there for her. Praveen weds _______ (dash) and Archana weds ________ - has become our fav fill in the blanks with Aditi supplying the names. i am sure no one sat with her and expained who is marrying who but she seems to have picked up all these things herself. She is (was at that time) almost three after all!

Yesterday morning i was talking to myself aloud 'oh no, horlicks is finished' Aditi sitting on the kitchen counter announced 'Oh, let's go to india and buy horlicks. come, come, let's say bye to Appa. let's go!' :-))

Aditi picked up a lot of tamil when we went to India. She surprises us by using it at the most appropriate times after coming back here. Today morning i informed her 'Appa-ku padalai'. She thought for a second and replied 'Naan paathukaren!' Wow! :-))

Then and now...

I went back to my blog and saw that the last thing i had written abt Aditi was in Oct 2013. She says 'ibi book' for library book.

Cut to Oct 2014...

Today morning, Aditi announces : I am a boy.
Me : Why?
Aditi : Bcoz i changed my mind.
Me : Ok!
:-)) What else can u say...

A long long ago when Aditi was a tiny little girl... whatever i do, Aditi is always with me(this is to keep her away from TV and at three years i am happy to say she watches very little of it). everyday she sits on the kitchen counter with dangling legs when i stand next to her making chappathis and conversation. one day i gave her a small ball of chappathi-maavu. Having seen me roll the ball then press it flat and then roll out the chappathi i assumed she would have learned how to do it by now. She went on to roll the ball, press it flat and shape it nicely and annouce to me - 'see, dolphin!'. i was a bit taken aback and asked her if i heard correctly. she insisted it was a dolphin and needed to go to 'pool'. These were the days when we had visited Seaworld San Diego for the first time(we got a year round pass after that) so dolphins were very popular with Aditi. i learned a very valuable lesson that day that when life gives u chappathi-maavu, u can make even a dolphin out of it and it's completely upto u what u do with it. Also, i learned not to take my daughter for granted...

Also, just before that, the very first time Aditi opened a book and pointed out and said the word 'Dolphin' correctly, Appa took an impromptu decision and took us all to Seaworld the same day so that his daughter could look at real dolphins....

Re-start

A few days back, i came across the draft of a story i started to write on my desktop many many months ago. A couple of paragraphs were written and when i started reading it, even though it was a story i had written myself, i liked it so much that i became eager to know what would happen next. For the life of me i don't remember! it started out so well and i can recollect thinking abt putting it into words, but i did not do it and now i have lost a story. With a jolt i realised this is what is happening in my life too... Aditi has turned 3 and Nidhi is growing up so fast too, everyday is an interesting day(to put it mildly), but unless it's recorded here in this blog things r just slipping thru my mind.

Okay the excuse first - When Nidhi won the 'Student of the Month' Award in 2012 (the very next month after she first started school in America), i had put it up on facebook. the very next day she fractured her wrist. Everyone in my family seemed to believe it was my putting it up on fb that brought the 'evil eye' on my daughter. i defended myself tooth and nail saying it was not the first time i was writing abt her achievements, but being a Mom after all i did not want to do anything that would harm my daughter. Slowly i stopped putting up things on fb. No more pics, no more announcing anything when she wins something. Less than 1% of our what was happening in our lives found its way to fb. The same thing has happened on this blog, as if writing abt it would somehow jinx it. This is very much against what i believe in - that family and friends are well-wishers and there is no such thing as 'buri nazar'. More importantly i am missing out on all the things that Nidhi and Aditi would like to read abt themselves when they grow up and come to my blog.

So, here goes... yet another attempt to revive blogging...

First thing, Nidhi did win 'Student of the Month' in the next year 2013 too. No one knows it except for us and the grandparents. when her teacher called us the second time to tell us Nidhi has been selected, i blightly assumed they must be awarding every child every year and that maybe its an award given in rotation to keep all children and parents happy. Then i asked around and found that i was most certainly wrong. There r many kids who have never received it even once in all their five years of elementary school. also, some have received it even twice in the same year. so it's all abt achievement. needless to say, i was extremely happy for Nidhi for doing her best in everything.

Second thing is Nidhi is growing into a very good dancer. She is flourishing at a rapid pace and loves her dance class. All this might change in the few months coz there is a very real possibility we might move and she will have to start afresh at yet another dance school. But for today, i thank God for being kind enough to give her such a good teacher and such an enriching atmosphere in the dance school that brings out the best in Nidhi.

The most important thing abt Nidhi... i notice i have used the word best twice in the above paragraphs - that's a good thing bcoz its not a word we use many times in real life. Having been a topper all thru my life, i vowed i would never tell my child to come first in class ever in her life. i would never place such an expectation on her shoulder and it was all upto to her what she wants to do and how well she wants to do it. i want her to feel happy for her own achievements and not do something bcoz her parents wanted her to do it or to make them (us) happy. So, when she does well in something i feel all the more proud bcoz she is doing well on her own and not due to any pressure that we have put on her. Also, she derives a lot of pleasure in whatever she does and that is what is most important to me.

Since last month she surprised us all by taking an interest in drawing and has been turning up master piece after master-piece during summer vacation. The bigger surprise was Mr.Appa who has never been known to draw even a straight line all thru his life - he started a fun drawing time with his daughters where all three if them spread out their drawing-ware in the living room, pore over their papers for the best part of an hour and come up with some stunners. i let them in peace coz i am usually cooking dinner in peace myself(rare opportunities - not to cook, but to cook in peace). then i am invited to be the gracious judge and pick out the best. invariably i pick out Santosh coz he turns out to be the best, followed closely by Nidhi. The best pieces go onto my refridgerator-door and now there is almost no place left.

As for Student of the Month this year, for the very first assembly, Nidhi was invited to volunteer in giving out the certificates (The principal announces the award, shakes the hand of the awardee and the child collects the award from the volunteers). She was so excited to be be doing this job with her classmate. Seeing her excitement we went to the assembly to see what exactly she is doing. i must say she and her friend did such a good job (with no confusion abt handing over which certificate to which child, etc). After the assembly one of the other Moms even told me that Nidhi did so well and looked so confident on stage :-) Small joys in life...

Ok, that was a reasonably good attempt to 'restart'.... Now let's c if i can keep up regularly.

No surprise that...

... after 10 years of marriage, one day, Santosh and i came home from the grocery store to find that both of us have picked up the same brand, same color toothbrush for ourselves. Now, mine has a rubber-band arnd itself to look special. :-)

Also, a couple of years ago, i started learning to drive a car. Santosh was the one who taught me. Day 1, Class 1, i have just taken the driver's seat, Santosh right beside me and the two kids in the backseat. i open my mouth to say something and Santosh says "Now Mamma will make a rule. No talking when i am driving. All children must keep quiet and let me concentrate on driving. haa...haa...haa". Needless to say, those were the exact words i was planning to say! Now that i think of it, two years ago we had not even crossed 10 years of married life!

But what i do find surprising is that though we can practically complete each other's words and even thoughts, we still talk to each other all the time all day and life remains interesting... Thank God!