Art of Negotiation

Aditi : Amma, if u don't put the TV for me, i'll call u 'Chutki'.
Me : Wow, I love being called Chutki. That's such a nice name! u can call me chutki, no problem...
Aditi (puzzled) : u like being called Chutki?
Me : yes, yes, I love that name!
Aditi (without pausing a second) : ok then, if I must call you chutki, u have to put the tv for me!

And that is called - the Art of Negotiation. :-)

Aditi at 4

Dear Aditi,

The first time u looked at me and smiled when u were a 1-1.5 month baby, you lit up my soul. i am happy to let you know, even today it's the same. :-)

You have many different kinds of smiles - the shy smile, when u accomplish something and show it to me, the soft smile to cheer me (or Appa or Nidhi-akka) up, usually accompanied by a hug, the smile that u put on when u dance, and then there is a real smile which is when u are really happy or amused or you are enjoying something to the most. Although i cherish every smile of yours, the real smile which shows all ur tiny teeth lined up in a perfect row, that's one that warms my heart the most. Everyday, i strive to see at least one such smile on ur face. When u first learned to smile, no one knew what could make u smile (the same thing would never work twice!), so me, appa, nidhi-akka, amumma and the maid would keep on trying to get u to smile. Even today it's like that - i never know when that perfect all-teeth smile will come. It could be something simple - like taking a ride on the carousel, or watching a particularly funny episode of Krishna, or something which Nidhi-akka says to make you laugh. Whatever it is, it lights up our day.

Talking. That's the main activity of our day. u talk, i talk. u talk more, i talk more. u talk some more and then, make me talk some more. and then, u talk again and then i am tired of talking and Nidhi-akka and Appa come home and u start talking to them. we can talk to u abt anything. everything will be entered, processed and given an output by ur tiny self. every thing is of interest to you. i can and have literally talked to you abt anything on earth, from cooking to space, from fish to God, from spoons to continents. U will listen, ask, talk and store. A couple of years later, u remind me i had told you something someday. And, that makes all the talking worthwhile.

And, same thing applies to books.

Aditi, u and i share a good wave-length - it's probably all the time we spend together. When u say something, i am the first one to get it. Or maybe it's bcoz u keep me on my toes, i need to be with you, if not ahead, to understand you and amuse you. Like for example, Appa and me were talking buying a new car and u butted in with 'mamma, can u buy a hiccup?', and i retorted 'u mean pick-up?' and Appa shook his head slightly at both of us! lol.

But i must confess, i dunno what you will say or do the very next minute. It's never what we expect... At your 4th bday party, u had to answer a question 'Whom do you like most - Amma or Appa?' and u said 'My friends. i love my friends the most!'.  And then gave appa, me and nidhi-akka hugs so that we don't feel bad.

i am trying to think of what are your qualities and ur nature and ur behaviour and what u r at 4 years, i am unable to find the right words. or maybe i don't want to judge u or slot u into anything. so instead, i am going to just write down a few conversations that have happened in the recent past. it will also serve to understand why we don't have cable TV at home.

Aditi : i have a pattern at school.
Me (not paying complete attention coz i am cooking) : Are you learning patterns at school? (it's something she has come across a couple of times in her prev school in CA)
Aditi : yeah, there is a pattern in my school.
Me : ok, tell me. what is it?
Aditi (gesturing with hand in chopping motions) : See... school, no school, school, no school.... Can u see a pattern?
Me (stunned) : O My God, you are talking of a real life pattern.
Aditi (excited smile) :yes, yes.
Me - speechless and cooking forgotten...
(Aditi goes to school on Tue and Thurs and it works out into a school-day, no school-day pattern if u work it out).

Santosh and i are watching a scene from Rangeela where Aamir Khan is selling tickets in black saying 'dus-ka-tees, dus-ka-tees, dus-ka-tees'. We didn't realise Aditi was paying attention too, until she asked "why is that man going arnd saying 'disgusting, disgusting, disgusting'"!!! :-))

We celebrated a 10-day long Ganesh Chathurthi Festival and Aditi was very involved with prayers and neividhyam twice every day. Once, she pointed to the agarbatti and asked "Why we have to do smoking for pullayaar?" :-))

I am discussing with Santosh "Nidhi has gone slim", Aditi interrupts with a shocked "What! Nidhi-akka has become Muslim?" :-))

Appa and Nidhi-akka are discussing the problems in their new office, school respectively.
Aditi : i also had problems in my school. But i am brave and managed it.
Me: How did u manage it?
Aditi : Simple, i changed my school.
:-))
(We had moved her from one school to another after coming to Texas.)

So, that is Aditi at 4 - Entertaining and Thought-provoking - 24X7. No need for cable-tv (Tv is television as she will tell you).

Happy Birthday from Amma, Appa and Nidhi-akka! May God bless you and happy long-life to you....

Best wishes,
Amma.

Dear God

On the morning of paal-kaachal in our new apartment in Texas, Nidhi is watching me as i boil the milk. I explain - "Now i am going to give the milk to umaachi". Aditi - "And, corn-flakes too?" :-))

All our saamaan arrived from California today. After the unloading was done and all the furniture fixed, i say "Thank you God, for bringing all our saamaan safely." Aditi can't keep quiet "Amma, u have to thank the truckers. they brought all our luggage."

All this from the child  who on Vishu day last year, when she received $100 from her Appa, we told her keep it safely. Immediately she kept it back near Vishu-kani and said "God will keep it safe for me!"

Aditi, i have to say, dear child, i am trying very hard but it's not easy to understand the little person that u are and the way ur head works!! Help me, God...

Then and now...

I went back to my blog and saw that the last thing i had written abt Aditi was in Oct 2013. She says 'ibi book' for library book.

Cut to Oct 2014...

Today morning, Aditi announces : I am a boy.
Me : Why?
Aditi : Bcoz i changed my mind.
Me : Ok!
:-)) What else can u say...

A long long ago when Aditi was a tiny little girl... whatever i do, Aditi is always with me(this is to keep her away from TV and at three years i am happy to say she watches very little of it). everyday she sits on the kitchen counter with dangling legs when i stand next to her making chappathis and conversation. one day i gave her a small ball of chappathi-maavu. Having seen me roll the ball then press it flat and then roll out the chappathi i assumed she would have learned how to do it by now. She went on to roll the ball, press it flat and shape it nicely and annouce to me - 'see, dolphin!'. i was a bit taken aback and asked her if i heard correctly. she insisted it was a dolphin and needed to go to 'pool'. These were the days when we had visited Seaworld San Diego for the first time(we got a year round pass after that) so dolphins were very popular with Aditi. i learned a very valuable lesson that day that when life gives u chappathi-maavu, u can make even a dolphin out of it and it's completely upto u what u do with it. Also, i learned not to take my daughter for granted...

Also, just before that, the very first time Aditi opened a book and pointed out and said the word 'Dolphin' correctly, Appa took an impromptu decision and took us all to Seaworld the same day so that his daughter could look at real dolphins....

This was just after summer vacation...

We got out of the car and started walking towards a mall. We put Aditi in her stroller. It's very difficult to get her to sit in it, but for once she was sitting without complaining. the seat-belt was not strapped on and i noticed that she was trying to buckle it in. i said to santosh "it's a good thing. she'll be occupied with it for sometime and sit quietly for that much time at least." Santosh said "excuse me, please look down." and what do i c - Aditi has managed to strap herself in! :-( when does she even learn these things! that seat belt is just like the one in the car and it takes a bit of effort to buckle up. aparently not for Aditi!

Aditi has learned a lot of words from Nidhi. Only Nidhi says 'thanks', we all say 'thank you'. And now, Aditi says 'thanks' for everything. For past two days she's been saying 'yeah' whenever she means yes. And yesterday, she was in Nidhi's room, i called her out from the drawing-room and she came running to me yelling 'commmmmmmmmming, commmmmmmmmming...' :-)

Aditi and i were going thru a book and we found the picture of a tiny wrist-watch. she gazed at it thoughtfully and i told her it was a watch. she tried it out aloud 'watch' and then ran to the wall pointing up 'clock, clock' :-) similar thing happens when she goes to a store and finds a top which is like mine. she runs abt saying 'amma-du, amma-du' (meaning mom's). i think the first time we noticed that she is making such associations is when we were in India last jan. her cousin-sister had a huge keyboard which she let aditi play with for a few mins. couple of days later she gave aditi a smaller piano from her toy-set. immediately aditi ran to the keyboard (which was covered with a cloth)and started pointing to it excitedly. her athai noticed this and was mighty impressed with her!

The first time i pointed out to aditi from a pic that animals(i think it was a lion) have tails, she turned round and round and tried to spot a tail behind her. she seemed surprised and then disappointed that she didn't have one!

a few days ago my cousin-sister was in chennai at my parents place and we skyped on her son's computer. all of us were very happy to see all of them. and yesterday, aditi starts pointing to the computer and saying 'shaadi, shaadi'. i understood immediately and asked 'shashank?'(my cousin's son). aditi nodded her head vigorously and corrected herself repeating forcefullly 'shashank, thatha, ammama!' it was daytime here and i told her they r all asleep in india. she keeps asking for them very now and then.

And the most important thing this summer is that Nidhi has learned to ride a bicycle. it took her just under a week. first two days i helped her and the next two santosh did. by the fifth day she was riding alone and we were all so happy. she announced happily to her grandparents on skype - 'i can ride a bicycle... *clap, clap, clap from chennai*... without balancing wheels! *willd cheers and applause from chennai*

Good summer, this!
 

Name Game

Something very nice happened two days back. i heard a litle voice call me 'sangee' :o) i hate it when someone mangles my name, but at this instance i was more than ready to tolerate being called 'Shanky' especially since the little person was calling my name for the first time and that is something we have never taught her before. i immediately went back to my old blog and relived the memories of Nidhi calling me by name for the first time. Now after being corrected gently (one can tolerate only so much after all) i can hear 'shun-gee', 'shun-gee'.

And yesterday, we stepped out of an ice cream store, walked a bit and enjoyed our ice-creams sitting on a bench. Nidhi went back to the store to fetch some water to drink. Little Aditi wanted to go with her but i held her back. She kept waiting for her sister and as soon as she spotted her she shouted out 'Akka!' and ran towards her. Then i heard a lot of nidhikka, nidhikka and lot of gibberish passing for conversation. ever since aditi was born nidhi turned to nidhika and when we talk to aditi nidhi is referred to always as Nidhika, with the stress on akka. i am happy to note it has the intended effect and aditi calls her only akka or nidhika. Lesson 1 accomplished : Respect ur akka! (Not just becoz she is elder to u, but bcoz she's the one loves u the most and is always on ur side).

when aditi was born we all stood around her and introduced ourselves 'appa', 'amma', 'nidhika'. We did it for a year patting ourselves referring to our 'name' and then pointing back to aditi and telling her she's 'aadu' or 'aditi'. a year later aditi took over and she would touch each of us and say 'appa', 'amma', 'akka', turning back to herself with 'aadu' and later 'aditi'. 'what's ur name?' (or the equivalent in tamil) would fetch an answer of 'aadu' or 'aditi' depeneding on her mood.

Ever since Appa heard 'shun-gee', he is trying his best "what's appa's name?" - pat comes the reply 'Appa!' :o)

Name Game

"Amamamama" was finally heard! :-) And also a very stylish, "Mamamamamama".

The first time Aditi said "Amamama" she was looking at the fan. i am assuming she's trying to tell me that she is my fan!

Also, since amamama was heard, for a week nothing else was said (apapapa, akakaka). i think Aditi is trying to make up to me for not having said amamama first.

All this was the week past. This week is 'Diplomacy Week'. Aditi is totally impartial. She treats me, Santosh and Nidhika on par and bestows her affection equally on all three of us. To prove this, she is even addressing all three of us with the same word. She demands our attention by calling us very respectfully : "Aeiy!"

(Detailed Phonic - also sounds like - "yeah-i").

Sounds like a good plan Aditi, giving all of us the same name. Makes ur job easier.

After all, ur father was the one who after Nidhi was born, wanted "one more like Nidhi", who would also be called Nidhi. See, he tells me, it will make our job easier. "Nidhi, come here" and both will come, "Nidhi, take ur bath", both will go for their bath, "Nidhi, do ur studies" and both will do their homework. Good idea, Mr.Appa. But only one tiny problem - u need someone called Amma for both ur children to actually do something!